Monday, December 19, 2011

Worried? Just a little.

Results are coming up.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm quite confident, insyaallah.
But nobody can escape that nervous feeling and uncertainty right?
I know I can, I'm sure.
And, insyaallah, my friends will too.

But that's not the only thing scaring me now.
I'm also pretty fidgety about my team.
Yeah, MY team.
The ONE and ONLY.
I'd be lying if I said that I am absolutely sure that the trophy will be ours.
Because, dude, I'm not.
I've been having doubts and even though I've been kicking that feeling out, it still haunts me every once in a while.
Can I do this? Am I capable of being a good captain?
Frankly, I'm afraid.
I've made mistakes in the past.
Mistakes that I could never look back on, laughing.
Because it's not even funny. It doesn't give me that fuzzy feeling that it's all in the past and everything's okay now and there's nothing to worry about.
Because I'm afraid I'll make those mistakes again without me even wanting to.
I may look strong sometimes, but it's all for show.
I admit it. I'm a coward.
Scared of the future and my past.
I have faith. But sometimes that just doesn't cut it.

I need strategy.
A clear plan that I can carry out in order to reach our goal.
It's one heck of a goal, but I'm not backing down just because it's getting a little tougher.
Other teams are getting stronger, I'm very much aware of that.
All we got to do is beat them in that race.
Stay ahead the whole way.
They finished running a mile, we've gone beyond the finish line.
It's a crazy dream, i know.
But I'm not a coward to try.
It's possible, no matter how many people say it's too late.
Because it's never too late until we're done in this world.
There's always a chance.
And, insyaallah, HE will guide me through it.
HE may lead us to victory.
And even if it doesn't turn out the way we want it, that's okay.
Cause it's part of being human.
So, yeah, you might be crushed at first at the realization that your dreams have evaporated.
But the climb's the best part, isn't it?
Whatever has been will be worth it.
Because everything that happens comes with a hikmah.

We'll get through this one.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Thursday, December 15, 2011


Ok. kebengangan melanda!

And just when I thought that person was actually starting to care again, he just goes on and BLOW IT!
I was just starting to think I should say thanks but I take that thought back.


No wonder I despise him.
I was starting to forget.
But it just came up again.


To hell with his effin' negativity!
I have faith. I know we can.

There's no stopping us now.
Better late then never laa.



I can't help but read ASSBIPI's latest post saying she's sorry.
And yeah, I easily forgive. But forget? Not so much.

She's come to her senses and has realized that what she had been doing was nothing but pure BS.
That's a relief.
But her reasoning was pretty damn pathetic.

Let's quote: looking at the way you guys 'act' in the facebook just make me feels.....damn. i know i'm no one to you, but as person that has the same God, the same Prophet, the same race..i have my own right to correct what's wrong. 

My comment: Don't talk to me about God and the Prophet after what you've been doing laa. And correct what's wrong? Whoever taught you that's how to correct the wrong? Someone needs lessons on these things ASAP. and YES, i'm talking about you.

Alright. Next quote: be yourself la...being 'havoc' is not always a good thing. neither being a shy person. so, the best thing..the right thing to do is just be yourself.

What I say: How would you know that their 'havoc' or shy behavior is not them being themselves eyy? Yeah, we all have our own problems with all the 'bajet' people in this world but it's not up to you to label them as being someone they're not.

Here's another one:  ask yourself "are you yourself?" don't feel shame of your personality. everyone was born in their own way.

My response: DUDE, you should be asking yourself that Q. are you saying that your "personality" is "i LOVE to thrash people because it is the RIGHT thing to do and to correct what's wrong"? Good to know. Atleast you're 'being yourself' right?

Que another one here:  if someone looks much prettier than you, just ignore it. make yourself pretty in other ways since not everyone was born with a perfect figure.

I was like: WHAT? you do realize all this time you've been making people feel ugly, right? Who gave you the right to make them feel that way about themselves?! "if someone looks prettier than you, ignore it", you said. Then you should ignore all those PRETTIER SBPians and not feel so annoyed by their beauty, don't you think?

Yeah, ok. I think i'm done.
BTW, i forgive you. But i'm not sure that my friends (whose faces were plastered on your blog), would feel the same way.

May we all have peace after this.
Over and out.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Typical me

I knew this would eventually happen.
The whole "me giving up on this bullshit of a story I'm trying to write".
I just naturally suck at being persistent it's not even funny.
Suddenly I'm more interested in my history notes.

Did maturity just entered the building?

Yeah, pretty much.

I need exercise. My brain's getting as fat and lumpy as my stomach.

But care i what?

Saturday, December 3, 2011


One word to sum it all up.
It was an absolutely incredible performance and I was kind of rendered speechless at the end of it.
For 1 and a half hour, these 8 very talented characters played beat after beat-NONSTOP!
I suddenly understood why the tickets costed THAT MUCH.
They totally deserved it.

Honestly, I'm forcing these words out because there's actually no words to explain the beauty of it.

I mean, yeah, it's not actually 'beautiful' like Swan Lake or stuff like that.
It was beautiful as in- they proved that music can be made with just anything.
The remedy, the beats, they were all harmonized by these 8 characters.
Each person had their own flair and persona in the showcase.
And everything about each and every one of them was what made it so cool.

I personally liked the guy with the long cargo pants and the beret.
He had a certain flair about how he did all the routines that made him look cool and composed the whole time.
And also the girl in the denim shorts.
She definitely rocked.
Ooh, and not to forget the small guy in the red shirt.
He was the best comedy relief ever.
The show really needed that.
Poor guy was bullied around by the others the whole time.
Which is what makes the whole thing hilarious:D
The other five were brilliant as well.
But I just thought these three stood out in a different way.

They used all sorts of things to make music with.
First the broomsticks, then the matchboxes, then their boots, then metal pails, then the sinks, then these long wooden sticks, then BASKETBALLS, then flipping chairs, then lighters, then these rubber-tube-thingies, then stuff from a rubbish bag, then huge rubber floaties, then they went banging on EVERYTHING on the set, then trash can lids and just about EVERYTHING ELSE.
(BTW, these are not really in order but its all there anyway.)

My favourite was the gig with the long wooden sticks.
The beat was just so friggin' awesome and the moves they did was just too cool to be true.
And the basketball act just got me jumping in my seat even more than I had been jumping before.
If that was even possible.
But that act was very short and they didn't really have a lotta moves in it but it was still tres cool.
OOH! and the LIGHTERS act was SOOO friggin' awesome!
They turned of ALL the lights and the only light came from the lighter they were holding.
It was the kind of lighter that you could flip the cap open and close so it would make a cool clicking sound.
So did this really nice display of clicking sounds and lights from the lighters.

The other acts were super freaking awesome as well but if I were to describe evry single one of them, this entry would be VERY,VERY long.
It's a one and half hour show, people!
I felt like giving them a standing ovation at the end of it but no one else did so I stayed right in my seat and just howled and clapped like crazy as they bowed and flashed the most satisfied smile I had seen on any performer I'd witnessed.

Yeah, they were THAT good.

And they didn't even utter a word throughout the WHOLE thing.
Amazing isn't it, how you could entertain people without saying anything?
Well they just did.
And I absolutely LOVED it:)))

Friday, December 2, 2011

Still Untitled---Chapt 1

Chapter One
I got off the bus with the worst feeling of dread I’ve felt in a long time. Probably because summer vacation’s over and the school year has begun. Great. Just great.

So you’re probably awfully familiar with the typical drama going on in high school. The jocks and the cheerleaders rule the school while the nerds are at the bottom of the food chain, always getting pushed around and getting their heads dunked in the toilet every once in a while. Yeah, it’s the same in every story.

Luckily, I’m not one of those nerds. But neither am I one of the popular kids either. I’m what you call neutral. A simple wallflower. Blending in with the crowd and not getting noticed is what I do best. I’ve got a nice group of friends who I hang out with at lunch and go to the movies or whatever. I consider myself very lucky because I’m cool enough not to be called a nerd.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying being a nerd is the absolute worst thing that could happen to you because it isn’t.

In my opinion, the absolute worst thing that could happen to you is being born in a family that inherits a kind of gift that enables us to see monsters - so that we can fight them off.

I know what you might be thinking. “That’s so cool! Going on secret missions and using cool gadgets and kicking monsters’ asses!”

You have got it so wrong.

I developed my Gift when I was twelve. Before that I had absolutely no idea that monsters exists or that my family had a duty of terminating them before they harm the human race. I just had the normal problem with the “monsters under my bed” that most kids do. I never actually thought that there really was MONSTERS UNDER MY BED!

So here I am, half awake, having a really bad hair day and smelling like I just came out of a garbage can, a little less than ready to face the days as a junior in high school. Please don’t let first period be history or I am a goner.


I turned to my right and caught sight of Hailey running towards me, her red hair tied in a ponytail bounced behind her. I stopped to wave at her. “Hey, Hales.”

Once close enough, she gave me a tight hug. “I missed youuuuuuuu!”

“Me too,” I said a little too excitedly.

She let go of me and looked into my boring chocolate eyes. “Whoa. Bad night?”

“Bad mission.”

That’s right, Hailey knew all about my monster-hunting family. She caught me in the act last year so I had no choice but to tell. She was one of my closest friends and I kind of planned on telling her anyway. Thank god she was good at keeping secrets.

“No wonder. You smell kind of funky.” Her nose scrunched up as she said that.

We continued walking towards the main entrance. “The monster last night had a killer odour. I guess it kind of brushed off on me.”

“Kind of? Did you even try to get that smell off?”

“Yes, Hailey. I took a bath like never before. I was in the shower for an hour just trying to get the smell off.”

“And look at your hair!” She pointed at my messed up brunette waves. “At least tie it up, will you?!”

This was very typical of her. Fussing around about how I look after my missions. I was quite annoyed at first but after some time, I sort of got used to it and learnt to bear with it.

As soon as we got inside, she pulled me into the ladies’ and dug through her backpack for her makeup pouch.

“Whoa. You’re not gonna make me wear makeup, are you?” I asked in absolute horror.

“No, Dan,” she said as she pulled out a hairband and a hairbrush from the pouch. “Turn around, I want to fix your hair.”

Relieved, I turned around and had to bend my knees a little because she was so small and I was kind of tall for my age. She combed through it and tied it in a neat ponytail. I looked in the mirror.

“Thanks, Hales. You’re a lifesaver. Let’s g-“

“Not just yet.” She stopped me just as I was about to step towards the door. “I gotta spray you first.” She held up a bottle of perfume.

“What? No. I don’t want to smell all rosy. I’d rather smell like this, thank you.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s vanilla, Dan. And it doesn’t hurt to smell good once in a blue moon.”

“I didn’t realize it’s night time,” I mumbled under my breath.

“What was that?”

I looked at her and smirked. “Nothing. Just go ahead and spray me.”

She smiled widely and spurted out her vanilla perfume on me. I coughed mockingly and waved my hand in front of my nose.

“Don’t overreact. It’s not that bad.” She sniffed me. “And you smell heavenly.”

“Sure I do.” Sarcasm.

She turned to dig something else out of the pouch while I stared at the ceiling. “What else have you got for me?”

Just then, she took out a compact powder, flipped it open and brought the brush to my face.

My eyes widened in horror. “Whoa. No way. Nu-uh. You are not making me wear that.” I staggered back a few steps with my hands covering my face.

“Daniella! It’s just freaking powder! You’ve got to cover those awful circles under your eyes. You look like a panda. And not a cute one,” she finished, matter-of-factly.

I shook my head, still covering my face. “I’d rather look like an ugly panda than wear makeup.”

She sighed in defeat and turned to put everything back in the pouch. “You are such a tomboy. You realize you’re going to have to grow out of it one day, right?”

I knew I was out of danger so I let my guard down and started walking towards the door. “And when the day comes – IF it ever comes – I’ll be ready. But now, I’d rather stay the way I am.”

“Fine. Whatever,” she grumbled behind me while she followed me out.

How lucky was I to get History for first period? That was my least favourite subject. I’m more of a Creative Writing, Arts and Chemistry kind of person, you know?

So I practically slept half-way through the whole class. If it weren’t for Logan, I might’ve slept all through class.

Logan was the class jock - or some other girls would call ‘hottie’ - and he sat behind me in history. It’s kind of funny how we’ve been getting the same period for history for three years straight and he never failed to sit behind me. We had been friends in elementary school but sort of grew apart as years flew by. Probably because he’s become the most popular guy in school while I stayed fairly static in the social food chain.

I heard him chuckling behind me when I started to drift off, making me feel self-conscious and try my hardest not to embarrass myself. Logan and I weren’t exactly friendly with each other once we entered high school because he had become such an egoistic jerk so I had forced myself to forget how nice he was when we were younger and push away the crush I had for him then.

He poked me twice in the ribs, making me alert. I turned my head to him and glared with hatred while he and his stupid friends laughed silently at me. Half-way through class, I decided I didn’t care and dozed off
When class was over, I woke up feeling so much better than I did before. I even stretched in my seat while everyone else rushed to get out of there.

“Had a nice nap?”

I bit the inside of my right cheek and looked up to my right. There, standing right next to my desk, with his dark hair falling just nicely over his forehead, his bluish-green eyes looking straight at me with a smug smirk on his lips, was Logan Riley. I swear, I had never met anybody as self-absorbed as he was. He thinks he’s so hot, he can do whatever he wants.

Well, the fact that he actually was very good-looking was true but, seriously, he didn’t have to show it off to every girl in the school. Jerk.

“As a matter of fact, I did.” I got up from my seat and slung my backpack over my right shoulder. “Why? You got a problem with that?”

He just grinned at me. “I don’t get it. Three years in a row I’ve had the same history class with you and you’re never awake in it. What’s got you so tired? It’s not like you got training or whatever.”

Oh, so now he’s comparing me who does absolutely no sport to him who’s star of the basketball team. How unfair of him. But the topic he was bringing up just made me lost my mood to argue. I did not like to be reminded of my job, thank you very much.

“That’s none of your business, Logan,” I said as I brushed past him and headed out into the hallway.
I heard him come up behind me. “Oh, come on, Danny. You can tell me anything.” I could sense him smirking while saying that.

I stopped in my tracks. “Sure I could.” He came up next to me and I looked at him. “Until you turned into a big headed jerk.” With that, I walked off.

“A very good looking big headed jerk, might I correct you!”

I missed elementary school.


So...I thought I'd write something cause I could practically feel my creative juices flowing through me.


The room was dark and eerily silent. Not my most favoured place in the world to be right now. Especially when it’s 3 freaking o’clock in the morning!

               Yeah, I’m not much of a morning person and yet my brother woke me up an hour ago saying we needed to go on a mission. How could I not be in a very bad mood?

                We waited behind some boxes in the old warehouse. Waiting for something to happen. A movement. A single freaking sound that indicates that there is something there for us to kill. All that can be heard right then was the sound of water dripping slowly, one by one, practically killing me inside with its soothing remedy. I just want to go back to sleep!

                When my eyelids began to droop, my brother pinched me awake.

                “Hey. Stay focused. I’m positive it’s here. The Director said so.”

                I rolled my eyes at him, wishing he could see it in the dark. “Yeah, and the Director is always right. Always.” Sarcasm.

                He sighed. “So he gave us a wrong lead once. Just once, Dan. And you’re already so against him.”

                The Director wasn’t that bad of a guy at all. He was pretty nice actually, despite the business we were in. And it’s true, he only made a mistake once in his career. But that one wrong lead was given to us. Out of all the other agents in the world, we got that mission. And being the unforgiving person I am, I still held a grudge on him till this day. Did I mention that the mission was at 4 o’clock in the morning?! And that day just happened to be my 14th birthday! So, yeah, I was pretty much pissed.

                I decided to drop the subject. Mostly because I hadn’t the will to argue with him. So we continued waiting in utter silence for another 10 minutes.

                Ugh. I hated waiting. When I reached my peak, I stood up. “That’s it. There’s nothing here. We’ve been waiting for 40 minutes and no freaking ugly monster has appeared or showed any signs that it’s even here, so I am ou-“

                As you might have figured, I was cut off by a nasty screeching sound from the other side of the boxes.

                My eyes widened as I turned to face the ugly beast. Its many eyes ogling at us with hunger. Its claws, ten on each hand, started whipping the air. Its 20 feet high body was covered with slime of practically every colour. And its mouth, filled with razor sharp teeth, enough to rip off the body of an elephant in one bite, was dripping saliva which I knew from experience was acidic and could definitely burn.

                How could we have missed it?

                “Great. You woke him up,” David said while standing up beside me. “All right. Gear up. We’re in for a nasty one.”