Love at First Sight? You're kidding me, right?

No music yet today, if you count out the TV3 jingle coming from the television.

Last Friday night, I experienced something I never thought I would ever experience all my life.

I attended the annual OPA-MGC/TKC OGA Debate/Dinner.

But trust me, I didn't even know what I was getting myself into until I got there.

Maka, siapakah yang sepatutnya dipersalahkan for this unexpected event in my almost-18-years of living?

Three words: Qistina Syasya Maslan

The night before my sisters and I went to the Big Bad Wolf with my roomie a.k.a MakCik. At the same time I was trying to cook up a plan how I could get myself to Sunway Lagoon on Friday to meet up with a friend from Kedah. After much thinking and coming up with yilek solutions, I took the plunge and TEXTED my Dad asking, "Is there any possible way for me to go to Sunway tomorrow? Just asking. Kalau takleh, I'm fine:)" 

His reply: Not possible

So I'm like: K

Party-pooper. Pfffffffffffffffttt.

So I spent my Friday morn' reading James Patterson's Daniel X: Armageddon which I purchased for RM8 rather than the initial RM40 in your local MPH or Popular bookstores, which is an amazing deal because I learnt from reading his Maximum Ride series that Patterson could really break your heart at the end of an EIGHT BOOK JOURNEY and make you feel the roller coaster ride of jumbled up emotions was just not worth your money. Faham tak?

Sedang aku bergolek-golek dalam arena kebosanan, WeChat alert tiba-tiba memecah kesunyian. It was Qisya. I'm like, "The hell does she want from me?" 

Dia mengajak ke dinner rupanya. Tambah interesting lagi apabila dia kata ada debate between RMC dan TKC. TBH, I had doubt and thought she was just messing with me. Fikir punya fikir punya fikir route nak ke Lake Club tengah-tengah KL daripada Bangi ni, dapatlah aku bodek Daddy hantar ke KTM station, naik train sampai ke Segambut, waited over 30 minutes for Faje to pick me up, and zoomed our way to Lake Club to meet up with Qisya and family for the dinner. Up til then, I still had no clue what the dinner was all about. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

Punyelah masin/kelat/payau taik hidung si Qistina Syasya tu tak warning awal-awak pada aku dan Faje bahawasanya tak perlu pun nak pakai baju kurung macam perempuan melayu terakhir masa dinner tu. Kira syukur la aku tak terfikir luar alam nak pakai heels malam tu. Nike flats selamat tersarung pada kaki. Tudung bawal pun boleh tahan off color sempoi habis la tu takat pin butterfly je. Dress code dinner tu lepak je kot. Ada je manusia yang pakai jeans! But I somehow managed to steer my head to the positive view of things. Tah macam mana tah boleh terasa cool pulak dressing ala-ala remaja riang-ria pakai cukup syarat nak ke kenduri kahwin saudara mara. 

Baru terasa macam budak STF di tengah lautan alumni TKC dan RMC yang majoriti dah bergelar mak/bapak budak!

Diyana Taib ni masalah sikit bab jumpa parents member sendiri. Awkward tak terkata! Syukur yang teramat sangat Cik Farah Najwa yang sememangnya mesra alam tu was present. Masuk-masuk hall, nampak banner di atas stage terang tang-tang bertulis: 

Love At First Sight

OPA-MGC/TKC OGA Debate

And I'm like, "Daaammmmnnnnn..."

Apa-apalaaa...janji makan sodap, aku ok!

At the opening of the debate, I had started to reach into my bag for my Patterson but I decided not to stuff my ears with Linkin Park - to be respectful of the event. And I was glad that I didn't. Otherwise I might have missed some of the funniest adult jokes I had ever heard all my life.

The topic was: THBT Love at First Sight is a Reality.

RMC was gov and TKC was opposition. 

I kind of snorted and made a face at the topic. Seriously? That's all these highly achieved Tan Sris and Datuks could think up?

The points brought up by the men were shallow in my opinion. Or maybe it just felt that way because of how skeptical I was towards the topic. Either way, TKC's win was obvious since the beginning.

But I think what made the debate all the more fun was thanks to the moderator. A used-to-be debater from Malay College. Cocky was practically his middle name but it was super entertaining to watch. If I was to vote for best speaker, I'd choose him simply because he made me laugh so hard just when I thought I would be miserable throughout the whole debate.

Who knew men had two heads? New knowledge. Thanks for that, oldies.

And one of the Wong Brothers really got me on the 'Love is an umbrella for lust' joke. It WAS a joke right?

After the dinner, I followed Qisya home and gained a lot of ideas for my bedroom. And we just dished out on so much until 3 a.m. 

Night well spent, I'd say.

#Sedikit perkongsian ikhlas dari hati, out of pengalaman orang sekeliling dan diri sendiri:

Sisters, if a man extends his hand our way, are we to take it as to not be viewed as disrespectful?

Absolutely not. Even if he is older than us or someone of a big name in society. 

Niat tidak dan tak akan pernah menghalalkan cara, am I right?

If you just give a small smile, bow your head a little while mildly shaking your head when offered a hand to shake, it's already enough of a show of respect. And you yourself will gain their respect as a muslim woman, InsyaaAllah. 

An alien horse named Xanthos from Patterson's book just taught me: 

"Never give sway to the negative way."

Well said. I'd love to make a pit stop at your hometown in the Dark Horse Nebula to pick up some nice quotes:)

Bahasa vs Language

Currently listening to Alex Goot's version of Bon Jovi's "Living On A Prayer" and I am loving it. Who says classics can't be made new? Some say, "It's just not the same." I don't see it as making a new of the old or even improvising. It's more like adjusting those old school masterpieces so that the new generation could learn to love it too. Sebab tu wujud Light&Easy dengan Hitz.fm. Lain-lain generasi taste pada muzik bukannya sama. But I salute Dads like mine. Layan je lagu orang-orang muda. Tapi bab rap hip hop melampau buat serabut jiwa raga memang aku pun mintak tukar radio station.

Judging by the way I write my old entries, you'd think I'm those budak melayu who prefer to converse in English, write in English and laa-dee-daa. To be honest, I was that kid. In fact I think I still am. Speaking in English gives me that push of confidence I always lack when I'm in a situation that requires social skills. My parents are great in English, I'm guessing due to the fact that they used to study in the US, and perhaps it just rubbed off on us. Plus, Disney was practically a large part of my childhood. Up to this day, with only about two months left of being 17, if you ask me what's my favourite TV channel, I'd say Disney Channel. Favourite movie? Perhaps something from Pixar. But I don't like to be specific on that. Because my interest keeps changing. Frequently.

But it really gets to me when some people see me as 'budak bajet speaking English berabuk sekali dengan accent'. Accent kebenda? Bukannya aku tiru gaya Harry Potter cakap pun. Aku allergic dengan mentaliti orang yang rasa those who prefer to speak English as BAJET. Tegur baik-baik cakap, "Sorry bro. Aku tak berapa nak faham la. Kita speaking Melayu jom?" kan best? Masa form five, bedmate aku (belah kiri) budak Kelantan. Suka sangat sakat aku panggil "British Girl" dengan accent dia yang teramat sangat dahsyat tu. Kalau aku bawak balik food yang rare sikit pun dia panggil benda tu 'biskut mat salih'.

Don't get me wrong. I love this girl. She's one of my 'mom replacements' while I'm at school since I'm horrible at taking care of myself. But although I might laugh every time she mimics me when my English just pours out, especially when I'm on the phone with family, it bugs me up to the point that I wish that language didn't matter to a race or nation. So what dengan bahasa kebangsaan? English boleh bawak aku pergi jauh.
Tapi bodoh jugak cara fikir mcam tu. Kau orang apa Ting? Ayat first kau cakap sejak lahir dalam bahasa apa Ting? Dah kalau bukan kau yang nak martabatkan bahasa nenek moyang sendiri, siapa lagi? The other races in this country don't give a damn about my language. And I'm grateful that it's while in school I realize this. Nak tunggu sedar bila umur dah meningkat dewasa, kira wassalam la kalau nak ubah diri waktu dah sibuk dengan kerja dan kalut fikir hal keluarga. True, it's never too late for anything. Tapi aku sangat bersyukur kesedaran tu datang lebih awal.

Boleh tahan geram bila member sendiri pandang pelik bila aku nyanyi lagu melayu dengan segala feeling bagai. Hafal lirik sebijik-sebijik pulak tu! Setakat lagu Jesnita-Exist tu...heh! Hujung lidah ni je lah. Let's make this clear: I am no minah salih celup. Tapi itu tak bermakna novel melayu bersusun atas rak dalam bilik. Ooohooo... tidak sama sekali. Hlovate sahaja boleh digest. Novel Melayu cintan-cintun balik-balik pasal kena kahwin paksa memang allergic.

Macam dah jauh tersasar dari niat sebenaaar je. (Awek Legoland epic!)

Actually I just wanted to say that I plan to continue telling my life story (as if it's any interesting) like a Malay novelist would. I've had enough essay writing in this SPM year thanks to dearest Sir Rashid and I'd like to experiment with my writing just a bit. I've long had a desire to write a novel but it's difficult to describe completely Malay settings and situations in English. It doesn't serve justice to the background. The closest example I could give is the south zone literary component, The Curse. Its setting is in a Malay village but even the word 'village' throws out the thrill and awesomeness that the word 'kampung' would provide, don't you think?

In this case, saying, "It's just not the same" is valid.

Never a Breeze

Setahun. wow. Dahsyat.
Currently listening to a cover of "Let Her Go" by none other than Kurt Schneider and Tyler Ward.
Amazing how music and a bunch of words can get to you, huh?
Dah lama aku tak terfikir pun nak tanya khabar blog ni. But obviously, being absolutely free of any kerja yang menyerabutkan jiwa, I have ample time in my hands to post entries.

As the world probably knows (bajet satu dunia kenal Diyana Taib), I'm not interested in keeping posted about what others are doing which has nothing to do with me. (The NBA has plenty to do with me, so itu wajib follow. How else am I supposed to know when Lin's coming back from his injury?) And I definitely have no interest in letting people know what I'm up to. Which brings me to the topic of my not getting the concept of twitter and these people getting tweet limits. What are they tweeting??? "Hold that thought, I need a potty break"?

 Kay. Tu lawak. Ada eh orang nak pergi tandas pun bagi tahu satu dunia?

But it's up to them laa. Who am I to say they're being ridiculous? Silakan wahai rakan-rakan di Twitter, Facebook dan sebagainya. Knock yourselves out and tell the world what colored underpants you have on today!

This past year had been a series of roller coaster rides from various different theme parks. You name it; Universal Studios Singapore, Sunway Lagoon Adventure Park, Legoland Malaysia, Genting Highland Theme Park, Cosmos World Times Square, heck, even Disneyland Hong Kong. Naik atas, turun balik, loop-de-loop, corner kanan, corner kiri, gostan pun ada. Gila ah. Nak putus nafas aku tahun ni. Air mata jangan cakap lah. Mahu tiga baldi penuh.

How about we tell this story from the angle of a Malay novelist eyy?

Mulanya hikayat apabila hanya tinggal beberapa hari bergelar budak form four. Studies memang tak tentu hala sejak awal tahun. Mana tidaknya. Kepala dah tak boleh nak fokus pada pelajaran. Aktiviti kokurikulum yang jauh lebih menarik jika dibandingkan dengan duduk menghadap buku pagi, petang siang, malam sememangnya cukup memenuhi ruang minda yang pada hakikatnya tidaklah seluas mana. Tambah pula menjadi seorang pelajar yang sentiasa berada di kelas paling hadapan sejak form one. Alhamdulillah setiap kali peperiksaan akhir tahun, keputusan boleh tahan warna melayang. (Flying colours. Saja hyperbola. Sue me kalau tak puas hati.) So naturally, my confidence that I would manage throughout the whole academic year even when piled up with extra curricular activities was sky high.

Dah memang salah diri sendiri kalau niat tak betul hari pertama menapak ke sekolah untuk mulakan sesi persekolahan tahun 2012. "This year, I really want to focus on the team. Kekalkan kejuaraan yang seniors tahun lepas tungkus-lumus dapatkan. Break a few rules maybe? I've been too good for too long. Bukannya aku ni prefect pun nak berlagak buat baik bagai. Yang penting, aku dah form four. Aku nak suruh juniors berus tapak kaki pun takde hal lah."

Bagus kan niat? Satu azam pasal nak maintain grades gempak pun tak ada. Elok punya perangai. Betul lah orang kata. Dah cecah 16 tahun, rasa diri sendiri je betul. Kata orang lain dah tak boleh pakai dah. Aku rasa perubahan dalam diri aku. Senang naik angin, senang tak puas hati dan susah nak terima kata-kata orang lain yang sebenarnya nak memperbetulkan apa yang dah terang lagi bersuluh tak betul. But I managed to contain the rebellious side of myself that was growing. Alhamdulillah persekitaran waktu tu membantu tahan diri daripada asyik nak memberontak. Mentaliti orang sekeliling masa tu masih kira boleh pakai. Empat tahun kut dengan orang yang sama dalam satu kelas. Dah selesa. Tapi semua orang membesar. Setiap manusia yang meningkat usia mengubah perspektif mengikut keadaan semasa. Kira tak adil lah kalau nak samakan pemikiran pemuda zaman dolu-dolu dengan anak muda sekarang kan?

*****
It's maghrib. Uhh, to be continued?

Satu Dugaan

Pergh! First time kot title BM! I think...
I must be the worst blog owner in the history of bad blog owners. So sue me!
Don't get me wrong. Writing - ME LOVE. But updating about almost every event in my life - takes up too much energy. I'm not very good with commitment.

Now, back to the title. I think everybody who knows me knows what I'm talking about.
OH HKSBP 2012!!!!
Definitely NOT our year. My eyes hurt for approximately a week or so and are sort of puffy looking but whatever. You get the picture. It wasn't a very HAPPY occasion.

We won the first game, alhamdulillah.
Then the game with SSP was pretty close. We lost,still. But it was a good fight.
I don't even want to remember the game with SEMSAS.
And the match with SMAPL was just- TRAGIC (credits to Kak Nadhirah XD)

How can I put this? I was..well..umm..to put it in one word..FRUSTRATED.
DEVASTATED works too.
Who wouldn't be? 2 years of going as a supporter. Both years full of drama and whatnot.
Finally getting in the team and, well, let's just say it didn't live up to my expectations.
It was the absolute opposite really.
What makes it worst is what happened right after the lost

Here's us: crying, laughing at the ridiculousness of our defeat. Such a foreign feeling, honestly.
Here's coach: "Dynamites, come here." He gathered us.
It was quite clear in my mind what I bet he would say. But what actually came out of his mouth just left my mouth hanging open in disbelief. Yup, I was freaking dumbfounded.
You would be too if you heard it first hand.

"I'm resigning."
and the rest was blablablablabla...
Well, that's just a nicer way to say "I EFFIN' QUIT!"

I'm sorry dude. I loved you but that was just a low blow, man.
I'm not saying that I didn't blame you at all for what happened but GOSH! GET A GRIP!
Us girls are the ones who should be having a nervous break down and threaten to give up.
Though I was already sort of holding a grudge on you before, what you said that day just totally vaporized my respect for you. Gone with the wind. *queue whistling sound right here*

Alright. Ting. Enough. What's past is past.
The here and now and what will come is what's important.
Now I have to really focus on my studies because my grades are tragically SLIPPING.
I can't let that happen. I'm a good student. It's just that this year, my interest towards various forms of art is growing like crazy and I love doing it! Video-making, creative writing, music, designing - even photography!
I have to admit- I'm pretty good.
But it's severely distracting me.
AND WE ALL KNOW THAT I AM VERY EASILY DISTRACTED

Insyaallah, I'll be a good captain.
I've layed out some training plans that can hopefully strengthen our basics.
Just gotta find another coach- AND WE'RE GOOD TO GO! hopefully.

Strive For Glory, Ting. Let's Return to Victory next year.

Mulakan dengan bismillah.

The Essay That Got Me Somewhere

“This has nothing to do with Elliot, Harold!” I heard my mother yelling. Another day, another fight, another nasty cut on my arm. They fought every single day and I couldn’t help but feel better when there’s a physical pain that could overcome the mental torture.

One night, something inside me snapped and I went haywire, knocking everything in my way. The bickering from the next room ceased and my parents rushed out as I yanked the front door open. The freezing autumn breeze hit my whole body as I lunged myself out of the house. Behind me, my parents pleaded me to come back but I just ran faster with a smirk on my face. There was no way I was going back.

Miles away from home, I realized I was lost. Looking around, I found myself wandering down a dark alley cluttered with trash and filth. I passed a few bone-thin beggars with unruly hair sleeping on cardboard near the drains. The gruesome sight gave me goose bumps all over.

“This planet’s a dump and it’s all the grown-ups’ fault,” I muttered as I kicked a stray tin can.

The can rolled down the alley until it came to a halt upon reaching boney feet owned by a hooded figure. “What’s wrong dear boy?” a soft yet trembling voice asked. I was frightened but somehow intrigued to get closer and have a peek at her face. As I inched closer, lightning struck, giving me a clear view of the crooked features of an old woman. Slowly, she walked away as if forgetting her question and I felt my legs swinging under me, following her.

I had to blink thrice to check if I was dreaming because at the end of the alley stood a marvelous water fountain, its edges made of pure marble and gold, the water a calming blue. “Go ahead, dear. Make a wish,” she whispered.

My eyes closed shut as I made my wish without even thinking twice. “I wish for a better world,” I started. My lips curled upwards as I said the next words, “where kids rule.”

The next thing I knew, I was free-falling into the majestic fountain without getting a single drop of water on me, as if the water was nothing but thin air. It was far deeper than I’d thought. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t for I was choking on my own breath. The fall seemed endless.

“King Elliot?” A boy’s voice startled me from a deep sleep. I opened my eyes and found myself sitting on the shoulders of two chubby boys. How did I get here? I wanted to scratch my head but my hand collided with something hard. A crown?

“Welcome to Childhood City, Your Highness. We’ve been waiting for your arrival.”

I looked around me and saw a wondrous sight. Above our heads were colorful rollercoaster tracks that could take you just about anywhere you needed to go. Next, I saw a bunch of kids coming out of an ice-cream parlor carrying jumbo-sized ice-cream cones that were dripping on the bright green grass. Best of all, everywhere I went, kids would drop what they were doing and bow down to me. During the tour, I didn’t see a single adult who could ruin this perfect world. Good riddance.

“It’s time to visit the tower the children built for you, my King,” said one of the boys and I let them lead the way.

Much to my dismay, the view from the top was spine-chilling, the absolute opposite of what I expected when we arrived at the tower which was made from top to bottom, completely of genuine LEGO blocks. It was built so tall, I could see everything in the exciting city-including what lay beyond. Past the borders was anything but exciting. Through the binoculars, I could see adults in torn clothes hard at work harvesting wheat, carrying weight on their backs and sorting through trash for something edible. They were so thin, they barely seemed human. They looked miserable and yet they were the ones keeping the city alive. I stared at the heart-breaking scene without realizing that tears were rolling down my cheeks. Were my parents out there too?

“Every kid becomes an adult when they turn 18 and will be thrown out of the city to become slaves. Including you, Elliot.” Upon hearing the familiar trembling voice, I spun around expecting to come face-to-face with the old woman but no one was there. My heartbeat accelerated as I raced out of the tower. This wasn’t the perfect world I wanted and I was determined to fix it!

I gathered my subjects for a rally to set them straight. “Things are getting out of hand here so we need to enforce some rules.” Those were probably the most mature yet pea-brained words I had ever said in my whole eleven short years of living.

“He’s thinking like a grown-up! He doesn’t deserve to be King!” said a blonde girl. The others murmured in agreement and some were already climbing the podium to grab me. Realization dawned on me. Who was I kidding? Kids hated rules! I hated rules!

They weren’t just planning on overthrowing me they solemnly wanted to kill me. I was brought to the bottomless caramel lake to face my doom. Through the corner of my tear-filled eyes, I saw the old woman smiling sadly at me amongst the crowd of anxious children. I wanted to rip her head off for this mess but soon found out that she wasn’t the bad guy. She was a friend.

“Make another wish, Elliot. A better one,” her soft, now velvety voice rang in my head as I hung upside-down for the royal dip. I closed my eyes and thought thoroughly this time, too afraid to mess up again.

Right before my head reached the caramel, I realized what I really wanted. “I wish my parents are here to save me.”

My whole body was drenched and I felt a pair of strong hands carrying me. I peeked through my heavy eyelids and saw an aged policeman looking exhausted but relieved for some reason. “I found him!” he shouted. A few paramedics rushed to me to check if I was alright which, strangely, I was.

Another pair of hands took me from the policeman and warm lips caressed my forehead. “Oh, Elliot, honey. We’re so sorry we did this to you,” my mother spoke between sobs. My parents squished me in a tight embrace but I didn’t mind for it was a feeling I longed for. For the first time in a long time, I told them I loved them but it came out barely a whisper. Another kiss, signaling they heard me.

As we walked back to our car, I silently thanked the old woman for helping me fathom that not every adult is evil. The paramedics and policemen are heroes, in fact. My parents are heroes too. They just needed their son to make a stupid wish and open their eyes a bit. But of course, from then on, I learned to be more careful what I wish for.

wokay! it didn't actually get me to Dublin but it's gotten people to see me as a good writer which is awesome enough for me. I just like to be acknowledged for something I do, y'know?

Going Back:)

Ever noticed I don't really write about things that terribly matters?
Like New Year or Hari Raya or Birthdays or Vacations and the list could go on and on about important things that I don't give a damn about writing.
No wait. Scratch that. Sounds so wrong.
I do want to write about them but, to me, it's pretty much like....
Somethings are just way too precious and special that there are no real words for it.
Trust me. I WANT to write about those things that matters.
I really do.
But when I get up to do it.
I get this kind of writers' block that just makes me sit down again.
What a METAPHOR!
Everybody give a big round of applause for the great Diyana Taib!!!

Anywhooo..
I'm pretty sure going back to STF counts as something that matters, ryyyte?
Yes. Yes, it does.
I'm excited, I guess.
Scared at the same time of what's to come.
But I'll never know if I don't "man up" to face it right?

Oh, I'm "MANing UP" all right.
Packing isn't easy, and you easily lose the mood for it and get grouchy for the rest of the day.
Naaaa, but I'm not letting that happen to moi.
This year is going to be amazing Insyaallah.
I'm going to put 120% iin everything I do.

Insyaallah.
I'll do great.
With HIS help,
ANYTHING is possible.
Amin:)

Long time no blog eyy?

I have TONS to say.
But I'm just not feeling it.
Gaaahh!
I want to write about the Bandung trip and all that other stuff I'd thought about writing but obviously, now I've forgotten what I even wanted to write about which pretty much just sucks.

Yeah...
Hey, that felt good.
At least I'm blogging right?

Care. I. What.
Salam.
(oh ye, saya nak balik sekolah tun fatimah sudah:)))